i need to start something, really. i don’t know what. i feel i almost broke away from the stop sign but guess not. i still wonder what you do. i still wonder why you don’t tell me. i still wonder whether you think of me when your driving to and from work. maybe i’m the one thats stuck. maybe i’m the one that cant move on ’cause i expected more from you. oh lord expectations. why do i still hold expectations. human nature? perhaps. but thats no reason to be immature. staring out my window. tree. tree sway. sway sway sway. you tell me that its my fault that we have drifted it apart and your the one that doesn’t tell me of the changes in your life, when i’ve told u mine. you the one that says i call much. checking my recent calls, its all bee me to you. you say i don’t text much. i’m the one waiting for your text rely. then why the blame. then why the god damn blame? am i a toy u like to play with some times of the year? am the person you feel like dumping everything on when you drunk and driving home at night and realize that there’s a hole in your heart? do i look like a damn bandaid? am i your personal therapist? your personal property? only your friend? you say family comes first, but when have you acted on your words. i really don’t like liars. i really don’t like false commitment. don’t feed me your pretty words ’cause they make you feel better. i’m a person to. are you the only one allowed to feel the way you do? it seems that your the only one allowed to be mad and no one else isn’t. can’t believe all your bullshit. i should have known. i did know. but i guess i was selfish too. selfish. selfish to have a friend. selfish to have a sister. selfish to have that one person to tell all too. guess that was a mistake. guess that was my imagination speaking. i guess its lock-down mode now? do i hibernate? do you think i can’t live without you? do you think i don’t have people that don’t expect much from me. why of why do i keep telling you stuff! why! u don’t mean anything to me then why. why do i keep falling back into that comfort zone with you and tell you things that no one is suppose to know of. every time. every. time. it not good. nor is it healthy. i think its time. time to shed it off. i tell myself that the last time you did this. the last time too. this isn’t what friendship is suppose to be. this isn’t what sisters are suppose to be. guess your just a random cousin now. guess your just that random friend now. moving away from friend to a stranger. summer school starts next week. work. study. work. get my mind of it all. nothing else can come of it anyways. maybe thats why i read magazines now. lol. oh dear. the tree sways. sway. sway. sway. wind.