Glum slump

Its amazing what just listening to some Adele and the Glee soundtrack can do to lift a girl’s spirits. That and re-organizing my room. I’ve always found that when faced with lack of concentration or general glum-ness, re-organizing something will make me feel happy. Something about lifting everything out of that space and putting it back in a different way. Like a fresh start. Which is what, I guess, I needed. These past two weeks have been something. I’m back in England, just in time for exams, so my week was spend with studying and spending all my energy on my finishing my exams. In the process, I guess I forgot to have that ‘me’ time that I needed to reboot. Instead, I spent it on watching Glee from the beginning. Three seasons in about four days. YEAH!

My general glumness actually came from when I went dress shopping with my friend for a ball that the department is hosting. Most of my friends are going and I figure it would be a really fun experience. Since its a ball, the go-to cocktail dress could suffice, but would I want it too? Two of my friends had already said they were going to wear floor length gowns and I had never wore them before. Cocktail dresses, yes. Friends birthday parties or gatherings I wear them. Any many party that is very fancy, ends up being Indian, where Indian wear is my default wear. Prom can’t even count, ’cause I wore a sari to one. So I figured ok, why not look for a gown and if I find one, super, if not, I did bring a cocktail dress just in case. And then, I saw it. I tired it on. It was wonderful! I never though that I would be so comfortable in a strapless gown. It was just the kind of dress I was looking for! My friend said to go for it, plus the lady was giving the alterations for free. The overall price was a bit, not designer crazy, but it was for sure out of what my friends were looking around, which I guess might have been my source of guilt. Being wearing the dress, and the sales lady showing me how I could play around with to make it more modest if I felt the need too, and my friend saying that it’s a deal since in the past she had spend more for formal wear. Now usually I don’t really notice what other people think, and if I think that the dress is wonderful and makes me happy inside, I get it. Plus, the chances of me finding something better is usually slim to none. I got the dress. I also had consulted my friends about it. I showed a picture of it, which I regret because I like to surprise my friends with what I’m wearing. They also asked how much was it. Which i tired to evade but they kept going back to the question. Which clearly made me uncomfortable. Now that i think about, I could have ignored it. My friends were looking at under 50, and I was well past that range! For some reason, I felt like a silent judgement coming. Like maybe I was the show-off or something. I usually don’t feel like this. This is clearly all in my head, but it kinda got me down. I mean, I already had the dress, it was being sent for alterations and I really did feel amazing in it. Deed is done, no point in regret. I like how at this moment, the song that I’m listening to saying ‘Don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back!‘ I guess I should read this as a sign. lol I totally believe in signs.

After waking up from a really creepy dream, I’m all caught up on Glee. I decided to start the clean up. My storage shelf is all organized now. My humidifier is all clean and now filling my room with lavender essence. I realized that organic eggs taste AMAZING! I feel guilty in eating eggs in general, but something about getting caged eggs feels wrong! 😦 I can’t justify the cheaper price. Went out for dinner so I didn’t have to make dinner! woohoo~ Thank goodness I didn’t buy a lot of vegetable stuff since I’ve been eating out a lot. Will probably get some for next week when classes start so my routine can start to become something. Turning point of my mood was definitely listening to Adele and Glee and re-organizing my closet so I see the stuff I don’t wear as often as I’d like first and then my lazy stuff far out of my sight. Even my small drawers are cleared up. I feel good. Might have channelled a bit of OCD but hey! Being clean is important! I want eggs now….it’s 3am :/ lol But overall, feeling much better now 😀


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