When I grow up

I think we ask ourselves this question, or asked this more often then naught. What do/did you want to be when you grow up? Well, according to the Pussycat dolls, they know!

As nice as all things that the Pussycat Dolls want to be, I don’t think I was having those thoughts as a child. lol. I rather, dreamed of going to art school in France, to draw and paint all day long. As I grew, that changed to becoming a teacher, as all little girls at some point want to do (don’t deny it, you loved making up quizzes for your barbies to do….or was that just me?). By the time I reached high school, I think somewhere within, I was still unsure. On one hand was teaching and on the other, law school. I convinced myself that if I got into the direct program for teaching, that is what I will do. Never mind that I have little to no patience with young children, but I did like to help out anyone who was hoping to learn or needed help. Enter university life and into an Arts program that I figured I would plan out into the right path. I really like making plans. Probably my inner OCD person and type A personality coming out.

Upon convocation, I was faced with what to do. Clearly I was an airhead and missed the whole part of applying for jobs or graduate school on time or make sure you have all the entry requirements. Opps. Faced with an arts degree and no job or graduate school: safe to say, I had a quarter to something life crisis. Don’t we all. Now with law school all done and studying my way into this path, I still get that recurring idea. What would I do if I was in a dream world where everything works out and there are no issues about maintaining a proper shelter above your head, or societal pressures of getting settled into career and life. What would I do if I grew up? Would I still go down this path that I feel would be logically the best option? Logic is such a funny thing. Logic. All with the mind. But, what would I do.

Would I take that trip to Rome for the art program and rekindle my passion? Would I pack up my bags and move to the south of France for the summer doing who knows what, with my barely passible french? Would I move down south and become that grumpy lady that has a nice garden but will throw stuff at you if you come near my roses? Or would I somehow master the art of yoga and open a yoga centre up in the mountains and have a really cool nature adventures with my dog and goat? With so many possibilities to fill the heart, yet, cannot be met with the realities of cold hard life. A dream world and reality.

I get it, carpe diem and yolo, but there is always a limit to these phrases. One cannot just blindly go into these phrases and past the limits. Maybe these are my mental barriers. That we create to be realistic and logical about life. Life is not what tv or movies portray them to be. In the ideal glamorized life during your twenties, not everything works this way. Perhaps the self-imposed societal rules and limitations have something to do with them, or that we are inherently scared of what could be. As Shakespeare once said:

“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.”

Does greatness mean be foolish and carpe diem the sky or does it mean greatness in being smart about your options and what to do with your life. Only the days ahead with show what they mean.



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