In-between blues

I was reading an article over at Stroke of Midnight and it completely resonated with how I am feeling. I have completed 80% of my exams, just waiting for the results and am job hunting these days. In the last summer vacation of my life essentially, I’m in that strange floater zone of, what are you doing? Who are you? What do you want to do? What is your passion? Do you want to save the world? Do you want to be a yogi? Perhaps a bus driver?

Often, I don’t have answers to these questions nor is any finding activity helping, which leaves to me to devote too many hours to watching Community. It hasn’t helped that during this time, my birthday came and marked the mid-twenties milestone. Hurray, I’m an old dinosaur. I get that I’m pretty young in the big scheme of things, but after going to school for far too long and seeing your peers settled into long-term relationships, on the road to married, married and married with children, you slowly begin to wonder why you decided to go the way you did. Plus, the way my friends decided to celebrate my birthday made no sense to me, but at least they had fun. They took me to a bar (I don’t drink, nor do I enjoy being surrounded by drunk people) to play pool (which is pretty all right) and karaoke (they didn’t have most of the songs we wanted to do, and I have done karaoke before, and it’s not on the top of my list of things I like to. It’s one thing to sing with your friends old Bollywood songs in irony and another to sing in front of old drunk men who start dedicating songs to you), but I guess my friend (who organized it) was having a blast? Mind you, we spent the WHOLE evening there…in Toronto…in the random part of Toronto. Most of my other friends were confused why we were there since the place didn’t match my personality or my idea of a fun time. But, c’est la vie.

In an attempt to focus on the positives; I can say I have completed my formal education in a world-class university, went abroad to study law where I made amazing friends, travelled Europe and have learned enough basic level sports/activities to be ready for anything. I might have ran a marathon in there somewhere (5km) so take that physical activities! But no one can deny that this phase is the worst. These days it is spend watching movies at the theatres so many times, I’m convinced that I should get a loyalty card and maybe I should look at applying for random jobs. The other day, my friend was remarking that I should aim higher than just a receptionist position, since it would be odd to have a law graduate answering phones and booking appointments. Yet, I say, I need many experiences to find out what I like to do. In the hypothetical world? I don’t know what I would be? Maybe a municipal employee? A farmer? Until I figure it out, guess I’m sending resumes everywhere and watching some more Community, until I finish it. Then it’s Brooklyn 99.

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