I’m having those moments where I wonder how important is a label? How important is it to be someone’s friend? A best friend? A crush? A potential? Lover? Girlfriend? Spouse? Child?
These may be just words, but these are words that come with a sense of purpose. The purpose that these labels may bring with them unnecessary expectations. Expectations that you may be ready or not ready to deal with. Yet, there is a level of comfort with a label. Your boundaries are set, you know your prescribed conduct.
As a friend, you know that a Facebook birthday message is a good, whereas the BFF will wait till midnight to wish you for your birthday; whilst the lover will probably be outside your door with flowers and candy.
As daunting as expectations are; the expectations that are attached to labels are necessary. Not just for progress sake but for growth as well. It would be wishful thinking to live in the twilight zone of being everything and nothing. Such a romantic nomadic notion is tempting, but that’s Peter Pan. You would be stuck on an island without going anywhere. You would not experience anything new. You would not grow into your potential.
As difficult as that decision to label may be, it is something that is inherent in our human nature. There is a natural progression to relationships and stalling never was the answer. We live in a society where you are person A, with B, C, D qualities that does E for a living and hobbies include F, G, H. When this is the state of human relations and identifications, it’s easy to start collecting labels.
Labels of a child, son, daughter, friend, good friend, mentor, student and so on. The label of a spouse, best man/maid of honour, godparents; labels that derive their origins not from a matter of administration or genetics; but of emotions, which hold the most sentimental value.
You may never be ready to take the plunge, but remind yourself that you have already survived many plunges already. Your first day of school. Your first A/100%. Your first failure. Your first friend. Your first fight. Your first assertion of independence. The first time to you cooked a meal. When you first completed that fitness test.
Your have already taken many physical, mental, and emotional plunges; so why does the label plunge appear to be the riskiest of them all?
You were equally vulnerable, equally brave and showed equal fierceness in all those situations.
Relationship label plunges are scary but when the time is right, you need to move forward. Give yourself the chance to shine. Take the plunge for yourself, otherwise you might just be stranded on Peter Pan’s island.