Is it normal?

Is it normal for you to feel nothing 2 days before your exams?

My first exam sans statue booklet is on Tuesday morning and I was so pumped to start studying early today, but I am rather stumped now. I ended up sleeping in which I think totally killed my motivation. My to do list is waiting and watching me but all i can think is: I don’t care. I just want my exams to be over and done with. I can’t be bothered with restocking my groceries or doing the laundry. I don’t know why I ever felt that I had a passion for this, considering I am bored outta my mind. I know its silly considering this just the last stretch and the last leg of the trip is always the hardest, but I don’t know if the goal of freedom is enough. Maybe the feng shui in the room needs to be re-arranged. :/

Maybe I am just allergic to commitment in all its forms and manifestations.

Can you really live the life you imagine?

Can you really life the life you have imagined? Read that picture, and let it sink in and realllyyyy think about it. As cool as it is to reblog/tweet/facebook that, I mean think about it.

Yes you can follow your dreams academically, career-wise, and all that jazz, but when does society come into play? I know that movies kinda make it a glamourous to break the barriers and go off to live in a loft and eat peanut butter sandwiches as you sip your ice tea to be a moment of liberation. I’m not saying people don’t live the life they imagine, some do and I’m super happy for them. But is that the face for the typical, and I’ll say it ‘Caucasian-North Americans/European/Westernized/First World countries’?

I can imagine my life to be like whatever I want, as much as I want, but that would be my North American upbringing talking. I live in two cultures, what about that? What about the other part of my life, which expects me to make standard life choices that show that I have become a contributing member of society. Basic anthropology and I live in different worlds I guess.

At the age where I dream I will be living vivaciously somewhere cool in another part of the world, my family/society expects me to be married with children. The whole idea of going off for a fun-year is not realistic unless you add a man to the mix. Maybe it’s ’cause I’m a girl and my parents live in a different century? Who knows. If I do convince them that ‘yeah its totally do-able, even with a spouse’, let’s not forget most likely, this guy is gonna be traditional and settled into his career and probably can’t/wouldn’t want to live in Nice for a year as I paint and make grilled cheese sandwiches.

I’m sure that most are thinking, ‘what are you talking about Orange, this is totes doable! I know so many people who have done this! Just go for it! Who cares! YOLO! It’s your life!’ But as much yolo-ing as I want to do, I can’t help but point out that it is not just my life. Maybe this is a very backward thinking, but your life is never just your own. It’s also: your parents who bring you up to who are, the you that dreams these dreams; the siblings that you played with that help foster this imagination; the family which gave you support in all phases of life. To me, to embark on such an outrageous and fun adventure without their blessings is kinda of insulting and a set up failure.

As I try to strike a balance between my wants and their needs, I have yet to find that fine line that connects our worlds. My world of independence and their world of domesticity. Maybe it’s due to my lack of role-models; women balance both the typical Punjabi lifestyle and maintained their independent aura. It probably comes down to the choice of whatever makes you the most happy….and is best of everyone. lol. Which inherently flows from your family culture. It it is normal in your family to do x,y,z, no one is going to question you further, but if it’s not, then ‘rebel’ in the making. Maybe I am using this as an excuse, maybe I am not courageous enough to make the move ’cause I lack the ambition and drive? I guess at the end of the day, it’s what you make use of the gifts given to you. No point in blaming the hot tea, when you can have it cold. Not like anyone is forcing you to have it the way it is. Maybe this is the moral of the story that all these movies and stories try to drive home. To have the courage and just do it. Maybe I am just a child, whining about a toy. Growing up sucks.

All you need is Pesto

My dinner’s have taken me for an adventure recently and its through the world of pesto! I don’t know what it is about pesto; maybe the vibrant green colour, the delicious fragrance or just the light texture, but it is just wonderful. I have been adding pesto specifically to my pasta dishes, so won’t you come dine with me?

What you need:

• pasta, I’m using linguine, about 3 rolls?
• pesto, I’m using the green kind/basil?
• A big Portobello mushroom sliced
• 3 spring onions, sliced
• 1 red chilli
• Salt and Pepper, per taste.

Boil the pasta as you would.

Fry on medium to high heat, the spring onions first, just a little since they are so flavourful.

Follow that up with the red chillies.

The mushrooms.

When I see that the mushrooms are half way there, I add the salt and pepper. ‘Cause I like a little more kick, I add some extra chillies and mixed herb mix.

Finish that up and add it to my finished pasta. Then I add about maybe 2-3 spoonful of pesto. Pesto can be oily so start with a little and work your way up to your preferred taste. Mix and bon appétit.

How do you use pesto in your dishes?

Last of England?

As I try to plan one last trip in England, I wonder, have I seen all that I wanted to see on this little Island of tea, Queen and double-decker buses?

Yea, my natural tendency after my last exam is to fly home, and this time I followed from habit. Little did I realize that this would be my last time flying home from my place of study. Looking back, I remember I made such a long list of places I wanted to see and I guess I kinda did see them. I saw:

• London. The capital and all the major sites there. Used the London Tube (inner Geographer rejoice)
• Birmingham. The industrial city and its German Christmas market.
• Nottingham. Robin Hood’s Hood yo.
• Derby. The Sikh history museum was so cool.
• Stonehenge. Pillars of rocks never looked better.
• Bath. Don’t know what was there, but it was nice.
• Edinburgh. Still on the Island, so that counts right?
• Manchester? Only saw it passing by on the train but got enough of a feel for it
• Coventry. A typical-average city of England.
• York? Waited there for my connecting train. It’s suppose to be a really nice medieval town.
• Southall. The central of all South Asian culture. Visiting the main Gurdwara there was nice.

I wonder if I should tell myself that no matter how much travelling I attempt, I can never see all of England and what it has to offer, unless I live here forever. I just need to touch it and feel it, then put it back on the shelf ’cause I’m not ready to bring it home? Following this principle, you can see the rest of the world, can’t u? Like a true geographer, just look but don’t touch.

At the moment, deciding between doing day trips to Oxford and maybe the Sikh Royal History Museum  or go on a 2 day trip to Cardiff to see Wales. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

How you do you guys usually decide or make your travel decisions?

Moment of reflection

Ever sit there and think, ‘OMG I did not do enough today! I was suppose to cover 12 chapters, take out the trash, make dinner, do a 45 minute workout AND skype/video-chat my mom to tell her I am eating something.‘?

Taking a moment out of your day to reflect is something I know I find hard to do. After all, between exams, eating right, going to the gym, texting your friends about eating too many sandwiches and the season finale of the Mindy Project as you download the music from Spirited Away can seem insignificant and miniscule. But I urge to do so anyway. Find that space where you can just have your ‘me time’. I’m not saying have a full on pamper fest (unless you want to) but just reflect. It makes a great difference on your overall positive outlook.

1. Start by making the nice cup of tea. Or coffee. Or hot chocolate (with marshmallows of course!) Whatever your preferred drink of choice to help you relax from your day.
2. Grab that tasty cookie! or apple? Whatever sends you in happy space.
3. Play some calming music. Gotta get in the mood.
4. List what did you get done today. I prefer to start this way rather than jot down my daily goals first. I find that I end up being pleasantly surprised when I realize I did more ‘than make 3 cups of tea today! I’m not a total lost cause.’ Then making/comparing with my daily goals list, I feel like I have checked off most, if not, all my goals and then some. Puts a smile on your face right away.

Just by working backwards, you really can’t set yourself up to lose.

Motivating yourself daily

Recently I have found myself having 1 productive day followed by a totally wasteful day of watching Glee and eating donuts. This is clearly a problem considering I have exams next week and they all count for 100% of marks. I wonder why my body feels the need to shut down like this when I fully know that I can keep going and do more work. But, instead, I find I need that extra few minutes before waking up and the next thing I know it’s 11 in the afternoon and my morning is all gone.

I wonder why I expect my motivation to continue onto the next day, when really, I need to kick start it to get my gears going. After all, don’t we listen to upbeat positive music to get our day starting off right in the mornings? Or go to the gym regularly because 1 intense-gym session will not last the whole week. We must keep going to get our minds going and refreshing our bodies.

My mind is clearly troubled and it’s not surprise, I have finals next week. I am constantly wondering if I don’t mean to if: I will get good grades or not? Am I working hard enough? Failure is not an option! I wonder if I am eating right? Am I maintaining a healthy routine? Am I sleeping enough? What if I don’t fix my sleeping routine on time and I can’t wake up on the morning of my exam? These anxieties, I wonder if they tire out my body without realizing it and the next thing I know, I am in a negative state of mind, so far from my focus and diverting my concentration and attention away from my studies. Clearly I need to start implementing some rules to make my mind and body remain in a positive state of mine and  help with my studying.

1.  Wake up with a good meal. This is so crucial! I know when I wake up and start on my computer, I will spend like 20 minutes just waking myself up and checking up on the ‘net. Best to do this with a yummy smoothie in hand, no? Add a banana and you might even get close to eating 5 fruits a day.

   

    

2.  Positive music or no music. Lately, I have started to listen to a simple hymn which gets me in a feel-good mood. Being in a positive state of mind has really helped me in maintaining my focus and concentration. Plus, the soft beats help in me in memorizing my notes as such. But sometimes, music can be super distracting. When I get hard-core into my studying, music actually starts to distract me.

   

    

3.  Healthy snacks. Gotta feed the body and as tempting as it is eating chocolates the whole time, when I see zits on my face I don’t feel so pleasant.

   

    

4.  Remind yourself that you can do it! When I feel like I am getting overwhelmed, I remind myself that I have reached this state for a reason and with some form of capabilities. However, small I think they may be. If I get through that first year UofT second-year-level roman history course, I can get through this! (seriously, that Roman History course was the worst feeling ever!)

   

    

5. Post-Exam Rewards. I already have a list of stuff I cannot wait to get started once my exams are over! Although I may be spending more time day-dreaming about that, but I try to get that to keep me going. To know that I’ll get to watch the third season of Game of Thrones when I finish exams and head home, feels so great! I’m super excited! My summer list has already started and I cannot wait to get started on all the fun stuff!

Gotta keep at it right!

Join me for tea?

Have tea with me? The sun still has some moments left

Ever just sit in front of the window and watch the sunset as you sip some tea?

It has to be the most peaceful part of my day. This has become a part of my routine now that I go to the gym in the evenings and return before sunset. The feeling of sipping some yummy Jasmine Green Tea, as I meditate and watch the sunset makes me feel so thankful for everything.

It’s funny how when I’m back home I can’t even be bothered to make the effort. I guess my desk being right in front of the window, AND facing the west when the sun goes down smack in the middle kinda forces you to check it out lol Sadly, no sun rises for me since the east is on the other side. Works out well for me considering I prefer to sleep late and stay up late. Should probably change the habit with exams next week! I can’t believe exams are approaching so fast! Almost feels like this semester had just begun….well, maybe not almost lol